The Bittersweet Friendship That We Have

when i’m alone in my room
tears spilling from my eyes,
all i want to do
is throw myself off a cliff
your name pops up on my phone
reminding me i have something to live for.

my love for you is unconditional,
yet still unrequited.
day and night we talk,
supporting each other through it all.
you have saved my life,
and i have saved yours.
we both owe each other so much,
and i dare think about what life would be like
without you.

you date my friends,
and it breaks my heart
to see you giving the love
to someone else
that I know i deserve.
but its okay,
knowing that you’re happy,
makes my broken heart
feel somewhat at ease.

we talk for hours every night
and every day.
you make me smile through all the
pain of living,
and i give you the strength
to follow your dreams
and always reach further
than you think you can go.

I've been broken
for so long.
and as much as i love you,
i hate you that much more
for making me feel like
im smiling while the devil
has his claws wrapped tightly
around my throat.