Poppin' Prozac
I wish I knew the words to describe how I feel on a daily basis,
But I don't.
So i'll put together the words I do know,
and maybe you'll get an inkling.
Sick would be one I guess.
Sick of all the shit that has forsaken the world.
Sick of the empty feeling I have when I don't have anything to keep me distracted.
Fuck, sick of myself for that matter.
Depressed is definitely another one.
I hate how casually its tossed around.
Now a days every other person you meet has a bottle of pills with their name on it marked Prozac.
Or something along those lines.
Now, i'm not saying that they aren't depressed.
Fuck, maybe every other person really is.
But fuck. Some of the problems people have are so easily fixed without a bottle of pills.
Lets see another word.
Oh. Right.
Lonely.
I am surrounded by people each and every day, 24/7.
A house with 10 people, a school with 1000.
But I still feel the ache of loneliness.
I'm my head I isolate myself from the people I love.
They're good. And i'm bad. And I don't want to make a mess and stain the good with my bad.
They don't deserve it.
I could sit here and tell you that I feel lost, scared, robbed, frightened, angry, hopeless, confused, unwanted, worthless, and a plethora of other things.
But how in the fuck is that going to make it any better?
I wish I knew.
Do you ever just have those days where you absolutely can't stand yourself?
You're like an over tired toddler.
So fucking tired and well past due for that nap,
that everything, and everyone, especially yourself, makes you want to scream and cry.
Or.
You think about every single thing you've done wrong in forever and sit there and ask yourself,
Fuck. Why am I still here? God dammit I'm a worthless piece of shit.
Those are always the fun days aren't they?
Oh, and then there's the days where other people decide to remind you,
what you already know.
I love it when i'm told how insignificant I am.
Reminds me not to get my hopes up.
But dammit, I do.
Get my hopes up that is.
Because some days I just wish as hard as I can,
that someone will look past the bad,
and see if there's something else under it,
even if I can't see it myself.
I'm done writing this shit now.
I mean fuck, who is gonna care?
Two or three people might read it.
One might even comment.
It'll probably say, hey dumbass that didn't really sound like a poem.
Yea well, fuck off.
Thing's aren't always as they appear.
But I don't.
So i'll put together the words I do know,
and maybe you'll get an inkling.
Sick would be one I guess.
Sick of all the shit that has forsaken the world.
Sick of the empty feeling I have when I don't have anything to keep me distracted.
Fuck, sick of myself for that matter.
Depressed is definitely another one.
I hate how casually its tossed around.
Now a days every other person you meet has a bottle of pills with their name on it marked Prozac.
Or something along those lines.
Now, i'm not saying that they aren't depressed.
Fuck, maybe every other person really is.
But fuck. Some of the problems people have are so easily fixed without a bottle of pills.
Lets see another word.
Oh. Right.
Lonely.
I am surrounded by people each and every day, 24/7.
A house with 10 people, a school with 1000.
But I still feel the ache of loneliness.
I'm my head I isolate myself from the people I love.
They're good. And i'm bad. And I don't want to make a mess and stain the good with my bad.
They don't deserve it.
I could sit here and tell you that I feel lost, scared, robbed, frightened, angry, hopeless, confused, unwanted, worthless, and a plethora of other things.
But how in the fuck is that going to make it any better?
I wish I knew.
Do you ever just have those days where you absolutely can't stand yourself?
You're like an over tired toddler.
So fucking tired and well past due for that nap,
that everything, and everyone, especially yourself, makes you want to scream and cry.
Or.
You think about every single thing you've done wrong in forever and sit there and ask yourself,
Fuck. Why am I still here? God dammit I'm a worthless piece of shit.
Those are always the fun days aren't they?
Oh, and then there's the days where other people decide to remind you,
what you already know.
I love it when i'm told how insignificant I am.
Reminds me not to get my hopes up.
But dammit, I do.
Get my hopes up that is.
Because some days I just wish as hard as I can,
that someone will look past the bad,
and see if there's something else under it,
even if I can't see it myself.
I'm done writing this shit now.
I mean fuck, who is gonna care?
Two or three people might read it.
One might even comment.
It'll probably say, hey dumbass that didn't really sound like a poem.
Yea well, fuck off.
Thing's aren't always as they appear.