I'll Never Tell You
You told me it was so cool that my mom leaves me home alone all the time and I just laughed and said “Yeah, lucky me.”
Because it is so much easier to just agree with you than tell you that I can feel my house walls closing in on me and hear the silence in a deafening way.
That I hear the ghosts of a life that doesn’t belong to me anymore, and they sound like children laughing and a family that died a long time ago.
But if I’m quiet enough I can hear the muffled sobs of a ten year old because surely her life isn’t normal.
Surely she’s not supposed to deal with this.
I don’t tell you that I don’t remember what it feels like to feel safe in my own home.
Because it is so much easier to just agree with you than tell you that I can feel my house walls closing in on me and hear the silence in a deafening way.
That I hear the ghosts of a life that doesn’t belong to me anymore, and they sound like children laughing and a family that died a long time ago.
But if I’m quiet enough I can hear the muffled sobs of a ten year old because surely her life isn’t normal.
Surely she’s not supposed to deal with this.
I don’t tell you that I don’t remember what it feels like to feel safe in my own home.