You Said I Was Yours but You Cannot Own Something That Was Never for Sale

If I let you lay your hands on me
Do not think for even a moment
That the dips and curves beneath them
Belong to you.
If you tell me
My body is your temple
I will remind you that it is holy ground you are treading upon
And as it’s goddess
I have the power to bar you
from entrance to this promised land.

Do you know the war I have fought
For this body of mine?
You could trace every inch
And still never know its true story.
Can you even count the number of blemishes
So fine and faded beneath the tips of your fingers?
I can.
You weren’t there for the sickness
that poisoned me from the inside out.
You weren't the freckled face
that convinced me that 84 pounds
was the true definition of beauty.
You weren’t even a thought
in my puberty addled brain
those times I dragged that razor blade
across my thighs.
You weren’t the boy I swallowed
a bottle of pills for,
Nor the boy that first tried
to lay claim to my flesh
Without even asking permission.

You are one
In a long line of many.
And none of you are the reason
I am alive today,
I have rescued myself
more times than any would be knight.
How dare you think for even a moment
That I am little more than your plaything.
I have battled death for this skin
Vanquishing you would take no effort at all.