I Wrote This When I Still Loved You

Last night
I gave my body
To a boy that was not you.
Our coupling was frantic
Full of lust and drunken declarations
Like “you’re so sexy”
And “I bet you like that you dirty slut”
I lied and said I did.

I did not feel like a dirty slut
But I did not feel whole
They way I did with you.
And I know
That what I did last night
Was fucking
just as what we did last month
Was fucking
But they were not the same thing.

Although it seems I invested more into you
Than you did into me
I cannot bring myself
To think of what we had
As nothing more than what I did
With that boy last night.

Even if to you
I am nothing more
Than that girl last night.