2:03 am

kurt vonnegut said,
“be soft. do not let the world make you hard…”
and i believed him.
i was soft,
so soft and so sweet,
so forgiving.

i was soft,
soft enough for people to rest their heads on me.
soft enough to walk on with your bare feet.
i was soft, enough to be somebody’s security blanket.

and i was sweet,
like candy,
a comfort food,
the thing you come to when you’re upset
because sweet is what you need after
salt in a wound.

and i forgave.
i forgave everyone.
every time someone made me cry,
made me feel worthless,
left me alone,
i forgave.

i kept myself soft.

but you can’t go through life
and come out soft.
you cant be hit and have it not hurt
just because you’re soft.

how could i stay soft when i was all alone?
how could i stay sweet when all i was
was a tool to make others feel better?
how could i forgive when it just keeps happening again?

staying soft doesn’t protect you.
people will still hurt you,
they will still use you like bandaids
and throw you out when they’re done.
you will still feel lonely at 3 am when there is no one to talk to.

the world isn’t suddenly brighter when you stay soft
people aren’t nicer.
you won’t get rewarded for your softness.

don’t be stone,
but never stay soft.