One Step

It creeps around the corner
in utter blackness.
I cannot see
but I can feel it as if it was the breeze
before a storm.

It's always with me,
watching my movements
to see if my feet will fall suddenly
underneath,
exposed to the icy waters below.

It's always inside of my head,
the fear of it
from forcfully abandoning
everything that I had rebuilt from the last storm

because when I finally get it together
when I finally make new friends
and make better grades
and smile more often
and think less about it all

It takes one step backwards for me to
hit rock bottom again
and that terrifies me to think
that a trigger can do so much
but not the person itself