Tired Words

i am a tired writer
with everything
on my mind
and no solid hope
that these words
will ever come out right

i stay awake
lying in bed
staring at my ceiling
trying to breathe

and i beg myself
i yell to myself
i am not crazy
i am not losing my mind

this is where
the cold hard truth
comes into play

i am a terrified writer
with nothing new
on my mind
and no solid hope
that these words
will ever be a lie