Before Autism

Before I was an autism parent...
I had everything figured out
Motherhood wouldn't be hard
I expected normal parent challenges
Sports, activities, and fun art projects this was going to be my life
Classroom plays, choirs, music lessons,
These were my simple plans for a little boy.
Dreamed of watching him playing hockey.
After becoming an autism parent.
My days are full of hugs, kisses, and screams.
Limitations are suggestions we press against.
The lines are short
Communication is meet with hitting
Wait lists that are miles long
Therapies for everything
How to draw, walk, stand, grab
A new specialist and another wait list...
Loopholes are more precious than gold
Another phone call another appointment for another symptom
Three hours later and the meltdown is still going
More testing more evaluating
Slipping through the cracks and pressing forward.
Just breath
And before your eyes
The normal I thought of is gone.
This is our normal.
Where spinning isn't just for fun.
Spaces are tight and comfortable.
Keys are tools to unlocking this complexes puzzle
Slowly you're emerging not into my preconceived thoughts
But something so much better and a million times more beautiful
Where even less is taken for granted
And the road never stops curving
But we keep moving forward
One battle ends to erupt in war or success.
But our love becomes stronger
Able to reach farther
As far as you need
Yes autism has changed us, but it never changed you.
Autism has always just been a part of you.