Missing Words

Mostly, what I remember about us
Is laying in bed with you, trying not to fall asleep
Because falling asleep meant you had to leave
Because I didn't want you to go anywhere

I remember staring at you
Like you were the only light I needed
And I think that you were
And I told you you were home

Nothing has ever felt better to me
Than lying in bed with you
With my computer light on
On the other side of the room

And I stared at you
All I wanted was to say that I loved you
Like I always have
But I didn't want to say it yet

And now just thinking about it
Makes me want to curl up into a ball
It's not fair, I say
That's life, you say

My best memories of you
Will always involve being tangled up with you
In the middle of the night, when no one was awake
Thinking about how much I wanted to say it

I'll search for a new home, because I have to
But I loved my home with you.