Unwelcome Guest

It feels like falling back into last winter’s habits -
sleeping away each day,
avoidance of every form of social contact,
seeking isolation by confinement within my four walled bedroom,
melancholic music being my only source of contentment.

There was nothing I wanted more than to prevent the re occurrence of this sickening feeling to crawl into me all over again.
So easily.
Like a slithering snake,
fuelled up to bite into my skin, hissing
if I had missed it in its pathetic tone that I was not too unfamiliar with.

But, just like last winter
there was no escape.
I felt stuck in the labyrinth
being decayed.

The prior experience must have taught me a thing or two,
or so I thought.
Turns out it was a haunting entanglement, with nothing to learn from.
Saving myself still seems irrevocable
but oh God, how passionately
I want to.