"Lately"
Lately I've been doubting us.
I'm worried that this just won't last.
We're fighting more--annoyed so often. . .
It's becoming a repeat of our past.
I thought we had stopped the games,
The bitterness and the needle-sharp words;
All that petty nonsense we used as weapons
To see who could make the other hurt worse.
I thought by now, that things would change.
That somehow I would stop from wanting more.
That, maybe, through my begging and pleading
You would love me the way you did before.
I thought that you would be my shield,
The knight you claimed you wanted to be.
I give you the chance so often and yet
The only one standing up for me is me.
Lately, I've been looking ahead,
And your future just doesn't match my own.
How long will you wait to take my hand,
How long will you still want to be alone?
I'm scared to take any steps forward.
What if it means leaving you behind?
What should I do if I wake up one day
And realize that your world is no longer mine?
Life would be so grey without you.
It would be cold and dull and so very bleak.
Knowing I could cause that at any moment
Renders me breathless--unable to speak.
Lately I've been feeling so lost.
From day to day I wonder if this will change.
Doubts flit and float and constantly badger.
Until, inside, my heart is becoming deranged.
Twisted for you, aching for you,
Waiting and waiting for you to notice.
Hoping and begging and wanting you wholly.
Drained to the point where I lose focus.
"What's really important?" I ask night and day
As I battle with my mind and emotions endlessly.
Searching for an answer I know will never suffice
When each side is losing so carelessly.
Lately I've been standing here,
Just waiting for you to turn around
To see the damage you leave in doing nothing
While I'm struggling to catch up and gain any ground.
Chasing you is my every day life now,
Still, I didn't think I'd need my running shoes.
For a goal like you it's worth the effort,
But I break a little every time I lose.
I'm falling behind, gradually, slowly.
But never able to stop completely
Beckoned back by your voice or crooking finger
And the promises you lie to me ever so sweetly.
You see, there's a hole in my chest where your heart should be
And there's no other that will ever satisfy.
But because you won't exchange yours in place of mine,
My heart will beat in your hand until it dies.
I'm worried that this just won't last.
We're fighting more--annoyed so often. . .
It's becoming a repeat of our past.
I thought we had stopped the games,
The bitterness and the needle-sharp words;
All that petty nonsense we used as weapons
To see who could make the other hurt worse.
I thought by now, that things would change.
That somehow I would stop from wanting more.
That, maybe, through my begging and pleading
You would love me the way you did before.
I thought that you would be my shield,
The knight you claimed you wanted to be.
I give you the chance so often and yet
The only one standing up for me is me.
Lately, I've been looking ahead,
And your future just doesn't match my own.
How long will you wait to take my hand,
How long will you still want to be alone?
I'm scared to take any steps forward.
What if it means leaving you behind?
What should I do if I wake up one day
And realize that your world is no longer mine?
Life would be so grey without you.
It would be cold and dull and so very bleak.
Knowing I could cause that at any moment
Renders me breathless--unable to speak.
Lately I've been feeling so lost.
From day to day I wonder if this will change.
Doubts flit and float and constantly badger.
Until, inside, my heart is becoming deranged.
Twisted for you, aching for you,
Waiting and waiting for you to notice.
Hoping and begging and wanting you wholly.
Drained to the point where I lose focus.
"What's really important?" I ask night and day
As I battle with my mind and emotions endlessly.
Searching for an answer I know will never suffice
When each side is losing so carelessly.
Lately I've been standing here,
Just waiting for you to turn around
To see the damage you leave in doing nothing
While I'm struggling to catch up and gain any ground.
Chasing you is my every day life now,
Still, I didn't think I'd need my running shoes.
For a goal like you it's worth the effort,
But I break a little every time I lose.
I'm falling behind, gradually, slowly.
But never able to stop completely
Beckoned back by your voice or crooking finger
And the promises you lie to me ever so sweetly.
You see, there's a hole in my chest where your heart should be
And there's no other that will ever satisfy.
But because you won't exchange yours in place of mine,
My heart will beat in your hand until it dies.