There Is a Very Thin Line Between Love and Hate

I fucking hate my mind

I fucking hate how dark and twisted i am

It's sickening how many dead things lay in hiding

But if i let you in

I promise you'll never talk to me again

If i told you my story you'd do the same as the rest

Because that is my fucking curse

I'm trapped in a fucking cage of air

The wardens say they love me

Yet they're bodies scream hate

I'm don't fucking get it

You ask for me and I give it

And instead of staying you fucking leave

This isn't fucking right

What is the reason behind this damned curse

Why do you puppeteers tell me to live

If you'll only tell me to die

I'm sick of trying

I'm sick of not being able to cry

I'm sick of not being able to laugh

I'm sick of not being able to smile

I'm sick of not being able to yell

I'm sick of not being able to show any emotion EVER

Because big girls don't cry in your eyes do they

The other day I found another diagnoses and the truth is I'm fucking crazy

I'm insane with no possibility of helping my mind

So why not go I mean Yolo right

Why the fuck am i still here

Why won't you detach your goddamn talons from my shoulders and let me fucking go

Oh that's right because for some fucked up reason you need me too

But don't worry darlin' I almost hate you

But I'll always love you

Because I'm fucking sick and twisted

So I don't make sense

Yup I know what you'll do

Yet and still I won't trap you

Leave if you wish stay if you must

But remember

I'll never hurt you

I'll never abandon you

I'll never curse you

Because honestly I think I'm to weak to try

(Not)goodbye from the severely twisted and horribly sick,

F.I.

P.s. good luck making sense of my mind darling