It's a lovely day

It's strangely tranquil for the fear
That fear of losing everything all at once
So sudden, so unclear as to what is exactly
Unfolding, like an uncoiling snake.

Poisonous?
The water is clear, on this lovely day
The sun seems like an eternal unwaking
Dream to me now, how shallow the deep feels..

I wanted this lovely day
This car ride that plays out wrong
The riptide is my enemy now
No longer, that angry slippery road.

As I watch the vessel crash below me
Swirlling "hira-hira" as it goes.
I can't tell if I'm crying, it's too wet here
Darkness swims over me...

I have to smile and laugh,
For my last thoughts are..

"This is utter bullshit..."