The Idealist

I wanted to
fall into your arms
but I would have felt like Alice
in unknown territory;

I was not sure
if I would like
the purple stars and funny creatures
dancing deeply in your eyes;

My nature was not quite yet found
and when I took a detour --
my heartstrings still pull me toward you

every day...
still uncertain
on familiar soil I lay, and wonder:
could I be with the idealist?

On the quietist of days
when there is no sound
of my car on the road
nor his thorny words

I will think of you
and how you once said,
I will always be your best friend --

but your gaze now follows
a painted sea of dreams
and I do not know if I am in it;

Where did you go?
Why am I here?
Could I be with the idealist?

I was once your one and only
for a second or a season...
My laugh is always lonely
even though I share a bed

It was real when
we did not know,
obliviously falling -
I cowered at the forest,
do you hear me calling?

Who are you now?
You're the mission of my memories...
could I be the idealist?