The Deal

there are days
when i feel more beautiful
than i ever have before -
like i am a flower
in full bloom
but then i remember
ever flower that i have ever seen
which grew from a bulb
into a gorgeous specimen
and died, days later
and i worry that this -
this time in my life when i am doing
nothing of consequence -
is my bloom
and that soon -
sooner than I’d like -
i will wilt
and i will die
and my beauty will not matter -
my life will not matter.

and i curse the devil that i made
my deal with -
“you told me i would be beautiful”
he only smiles, almost sadly
and replies -
“yes, but i never said
that you would stay beautiful forever.”

i should have read the fine print.