Trying to Say

when you’re gone
I drink and drink bottles of vodka to try
and replicate the feeling you give me
when I hold you in my arms
but all I get is an upset stomach
and a bad taste in my mouth
so what I’m trying to say is
it might be better if you come around more often
so I don’t have to drown in my fear of you leaving me
for someone who doesn’t need as many drugs
or as many doctors appointments to try
and have a normal life because lord knows I’m a handful
even on the medicine
and you say you don’t mind
and that you can take care of me
but they all say that until it’s too much
and once it’s too much they leave
and you say you won’t but history has shown me
time and time again that they always leave
and so what I’m trying to say is
I’m trying to be better so you’ll stay a little longer than the rest
♠ ♠ ♠
this is the first poem ive written since the last time i fell in love