What Is This?

I been thinking

Smiling
I cut vegetables

Smiling
I wash my hands

Smiling
I walk up the stairs

Smiling
I been thinking
about you

Why?

Just because we shared some special moments?
Just because you were there when I needed someone?
Because I want to cuddle with you?
Because I want your kiss?
Because I really want you
around me?

Your hugs
Your kisses
Your attention
Your body

I know I want your body,
more than I thought I would

When I thought of seducing you
drawing you in
I didn't think
I would want your body
that much

It scares me,
but it's been an obsession
and I can't stop thinking of you

Without you near,
without you in my arms,
without you touching me,
I feel nothing

I shouldn't have such need for you
Why would I need your touch
when I haven't even had it?

You can't reach through the phone
to caress me

Why is it driving me nuts
every time I see your face,
every time I think of your hair
gently caressing your naked chest
I feel a pool of warmth in my stomach
catch my breath
and my chest tightens

Why is this happening?
I can't remember ever feeling this before

It can't be love,
love feels like a drug
makes me high and giddy
like I'm floating around
dreaming and singing for no reason

it would make me dream of marriage or kids,
not make me feel warm or loose breath

So if it's not love,
then what is it?

I know it's not just sexual attraction,
but what could be sexual but not love?
What could be bigger than friendship but not love?

What is it!

Why did my heart skip a beat
or my breathing change
when I heard your voice for the first time?

Why does my body feel warm when I hear your voice?
How can I miss your voice, after only hearing it once?
How can I miss your kisses, when you never gave me one?

I have feelings for you,
but I don't know what they are....

... What is this feeling?