Burn

It's pouring rain but I can't seem to close the door.

I can't tell if the monsters still live inside me or if I have became what I couldn't bare before.

Close my eyes for 3 seconds maybe 4 but the thoughts are overwhelming and I can't pick myself up off the floor.

I try and convince myself it's all in my head. Then I realize it's these thoughts in my head that are going to leave me dead.

I tried to do what I do best and run away, but deep inside I know I'm not meant to see many more days.

I've been eaten alive for so long and this daily journey is getting too old.

I'll disappear into the water on the day I was born, because it would be a curse to live all year long alone.

I'll let the water fill my airways and burn my lungs. I'll close my eyes and smile at your face.

Then I'll picture the warm water being your embrace. I try to whisper your name but it's already too late.

I just needed to be saved but couldn't do it myself. I would have never admitted I needed your help.

Now the monsters have subsided and are gone for good. I know I didn't say goodbye and I didn't warn a soul.

But I'm still by your side and my heart is still yours to hold. I'll keep my eye out and guide your every move.

Just don't be alarmed if the touch is a little warm. It's just a little hotter down here hell.

I'll still be here to hold your hand and help you learn. I'm just going to do it all while I burn.

Don't miss me too much because there wasn't much left. But its okay now because this is the burn I've craved for so long.