I Lost My Voice

there’s dirt on my hands,
i fell,
but for some reason i don’t remember
the fall
there’s mud on my knees,
i knelt down,
but for some reason i don’t remember
touching the ground.

am i still here, do you hear me?
the wires between my mind, soul and
body have been cut.

am i present, do you copy?
the USB was ejected,
i was disconnected,
my mind was a virus,
my body took the hit.

there’s no flow in my blood vessel,
the circulation’s been cut off.

i had a voice recorder but
i lost my voice,
it was taken from me,
chord by chord.

they won’t see what’s on my skin,
they won’t see what’s in my hair,
they will never hear the echoes of
the noises i make.

words slip through their lips,
dust comes pouring out.

l o v e,

their growls shake the ground.
there’s nowhere to stand when
the tiles beneath your feet
start cracking.

i’m drowning in my words,
i can’t scoop them up.

my palms are black and blue,
the paint is dripping from my fingers
and into the recorder;
see the words!

my hands know colours no one has seen,
they write stories no one has read,
they might be dirty but they know the truth;
squint your eyes,
see through the static,
pick me up,

i’m holding onto you.

a.p.