Drunk

when I cant talk to you
I talk to myself

when the things you do
so inconsiderate
I cry
myself into oblivion
and say
nothing

because no one would understand
and even if they did
it wouldn't be you

why?
do I feel so strongly?
for so long?

it's been so long.

maybe you aren't good for me.
but my whole world spins
because spinning around you
is what keeps me spinning
at all

spinning
drunk
in love
with you

sit quietly and wait
hope waning in and out like the moon
wading back and forth like the tide
as I try my best
to forget about myself

pain is merely a fantasy
I have inside myself
where you feel something
when you look at my hurt
and I can look into your eyes
as you see me
for the first time

not being good enough
smart enough
pretty enough
it's all just relativity

and time
time is relative
and you mean everything to me now
maybe not forever
2 days from now
10 years from now

liquor may burn as it goes down
but the fire in that burns almost hot enough
to shield me from the fire
my heart feels for you
alone

so alone I can hear
you breathe
200 miles away
and I can't hear anyone beside you
but I know someday
they might be there
and I will be like a shadow
a thorn in your side
and maybe then
I can finally end it