Demons and Monsters

I know exactly how to write
what I don't really want to say:
no matter how hard I search for light
I remain unhappy in every way...

Demons creep in my mind
and monsters keep me awake-
these thoughts I always find
make me hide, cry, and shake...

Crawl out of bed angry
crash into reality
stumble into false appearances
climb through life self-silenced...

I've numbed my sorrow
and drank away the pain;
after all these years
my happiness never came.

So tell me:
am I the one to blame?

Demons creep back in my mind
and monsters still keep me awake-
my struggles make me blind;
my future is yours to take...