Clinging to Dad

At fourteen, I felt true loss for the first time
My dad’s crow’s feet and pearly white smile had faded back into the earth
A tsunami had uprooted the tree that was his immune system
Thanks to the chemo that was intended to brace the tree in disaster

No longer could I look out of my bedroom window to watch him
Admire and polish his mint condition red 94’ Buick, tending to his “baby”
Creating something bright and beautiful out of such a dull, gray day

The winter after my dad’s soul reached a place without pain
My mother called me in a frantic state of sobbing
A careless driver hadn’t just totaled the car, they totaled my heart
All that was left of my dad on earth was taken away

With a bent frame and broken, rusty suspension the car went to the shop
A scrawny, hairy mechanic could do nothing to return the car to former glory
Instead of completely scraping my dad’s pride and memory
I choose to have it dismantled of all but its brake and gas pedals

I told myself that I was making greatness from the tragedy of that loss
As I sit in the garage that is now filled with spare car parts
I am still a child clinging onto my dad’s leg for dear life