The Belated Apology

Maybe I should have said this sooner.
Maybe waiting a year was too long.
Maybe things would be different now.
Maybe I'm just kidding myself.

What good would apologizing now do anyway?
Trying to talk to you is like talking to a cold, iron wall.
I think the wall would be more willing to listen though.

Why have we let a year go by already?
Do you still hold that much hatred in your heart?
I still hold too much love in mine.

I guess I went about things the wrong way.
But you wouldn't listen to me anymore.
You didn't see how much I was dying inside.
You didn't see the monster you had become to me.

You see me as a coward.
I ran away instead of facing you.
And I did it in all the wrong ways.

For that, I will say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for hurting you.
For all the pain my absence must have caused.
If it did any, that is.

Once I tried to reach out to you.
You shunned me and slammed the door.
I'm nothing but a breathing corpse to you.
Maybe it's better this way.

You became a nightmare.
And my demons started to scream.
I felt myself drowning again.
Only this time, you were the one holding me under.

Yet, here I am.
Bearing my heart to you.
On my knees, begging for forgiveness.
After one year of silence.