Internal Me

Internal Me is scary to see
Constantly comparing myself to every girl
Always in an emotional whirl
Feelings make me fucking hurl,
You see the inside is confused
I'm tired of being hurt and used
Emotionally scarred, mentally abused,
How do you break down your walls
When you lose it if you give it your all
when they'll do anything to see you fall,
Maybe I'm too worried about letting go
I care way too much I shouldn't let it show
I'm so naive, I feel so low,
How could you love me I'm not the best
I'm like a trick question on a test
Look at me I am a mess,
I prepare myself for the worst
Pushing people away is my curse
My mind, a chaotic universe,
Depression, anxiety, insomnia and more
I'm fucking shattered on the floor
Bleeding out of every sore,
I'm scarred on the inside and out
I'm full of so much doubt
I've screamed so much I can hardly shout,
The voices in my head tell me to die
They convince me everything's just a lie
Constant flowing of the tears I cry,
So pathetic, so worthless, a waste of time
Just the ugly bitch who could never be sublime,
Always below average, never close to being a dime,
So how could you love someone filled with so much hate
Or be around someone without a good trait
Or kiss the lips of a girl waiting for her death date...

How could you want me, I don't believe it's true
That a girl like me, could be so lucky to have you
I don't deserve this though, I deserve a hateful doom
I shouldn't get to have someone who is so amazing and kind
But your the only great thing that races through my mind
I want happiness with you, but in this darkness Im stuck in binds.