Mediocre

Sometimes, I realize
just how deep pretension
is ingrained into my blood.

I just don't wanna be boring.

I crave the attention of others.

My high opinion of myself makes
it hard to breath,
without thinking how it looks from another persons view.

I'd kill to be pretty.

Or smart.

Or funny.

Or loved.

I can't solve the problem of mediocrity.
My entire existence.
This poem.

***

The impossible problem, with a nonexistent solution.

Mediocrity cripples me.

Makes me do things I'd never.

A parasite that makes it hard to breath,
without thinking of how it looks from another's view.

Makes it hard to look in the mirror,
without seeing every single atrocious normality.

It makes it hard to think of a future worth living.