Toxic

"Why do you do it? Why do you continue to return to someone that causes you nothing but pain? It's not healthy, it's toxic."
She laughed to herself, did they all truly believe this thought had never crossed her mind?
She was foolish, yes. But she was not stupid.
She knew the repercussions, she knew the chance she was taking each time she let him back in.
She hated him- hated herself for hating him and yet loving him so immensely and at the same time.
She could accurately predict the series of events at this point, her heart shattering each time despite all the warnings from others and herself.
She questioned how long it would last- why she consciously let herself break over and over again.
"I suppose it makes me feel alive," she answered.
She hoped that one day she could breathe without it, that her lungs would reject that toxic air.
She hoped that one day people would stop asking her why she did it, and she could stop asking herself why she couldn't seem to stop.