An Apology

Sorry.
Thats all I can think of anymore,
Just how incredibly sorry I am
To have hurt you;
Its the only thought constantly
Running through my head,
Every second of every day.
You don't deserve it.
I don't deserve you.

Sorry.
I wish I could take back the words,
Words I don't remember.
Wish I could undo the night,
Even though for me,
It's already gone.
You'd think not remembering
Would make it easier..
Instead I only wonder
The words I muttered,
Drunkenly, to cause you pain.

Sorry.
I know I've said this a million times,
But I'll say it a million more.
Because even then,
You still won't understand
How much I wish
All of this
Could just disappear...

Sorry.
You're the only one
I truly care about,
And now I've broken
Whatever we've had,
Just like everything else
I've ever laid my hands on.
I scarred our relationship,
Tainted it,
Marred it with words
I never meant to say.

Sorry.
I'm sorry I'm a mess of a girl,
I'm sorry that you love me
And I still don't understand how..
How can you love
Someone who can't hold herself together,
Who's world is always falling apart,
Leaving you to pick up the pieces?
As if you could save me..

Sorry.
That's all I have to say.
Because even that won't fix this,
An apology won't change it,
And even though you forgive me,
I'll never forgive myself.