Loving a Monster

I Just wanted to be loved and you were that guy.
My love for you is what blinded me from the truth.
For the first year it was small and unnoticeable.
You took my spirit and crushed my soul no one was to know.

Then it was a shove for not doing as i'm told.
I tried to see my friends but you didn't want me to tell.
So i tried to rebel.

A squeeze of my hand until i was reduced to tears was your next step.
Nothing broken just bruised.
Scared, Frightened and alone.
Exactly what you wanted i was at your beck and call.
You always found a way to manipulate me enough.
You pushed everyone away making me out to be a liar.
You instructed me on everything that made me, me!

I try to help you when you're sick and you punch me.
I was a little girl of only 16 yet my love for you
I Let you do this to me.
I want to blame you but i blame that first kiss.
I let myself fall in love with a monster.

You blamed me for every criticism
You said i could be me.
I was only ever being what you conditioned outta me
Out of fear ?
Out of love?
No longer I'm aware.
I'm afraid to love someone so deeply because of what you did to me
So who's fault is it because I'm sick of blaming me.