Nine Millimeters

Try as she will, never reachieve
That first-kill ecstasy
Drums beat
As she breathes
As she breathes
Wither, worthless
She sees these dreams
Distaste and apathy
Seeping in the crease
Of her eternity

Mellow-drama and regurgitated lines
She's cast upon a stage
Bare, hollow, and dead
One last lift of her weary head
Clawing, dying for her next fix
A slow push
To bring back meaning
To a meager, fading life

Her running will never return her
To the blue skies she remembers
Recollections now her only possession
And it's not getting any clearer
Consumed with what is, and not to be
She's hunting for another vein to bleed
She's picking, so wounds won't heal fully
She's killing the heart of this family

And so it bleeds

And now she's desperate
She walks the streets at night
Took thirty years
But she's finally killed her light
And now her father
Can't look the mirror in the eyes
He blames himself, so he'll end it all tonight
Her brother's hurt
But he's strong, and soldiers on
Their mother's gone
So she'll never know the harm
The true tragedy lies within the son
Who finds her needles
Unguarded, with her gun

Foundation's cracked
And he's never known a day of blue skies
He's watched her a thousand time
If he pushes the plunger, the voices will die
Kill the fear
Kill the doubt
Kill the unclean
Feelings that sixteen years
Had been gifting
Give me color and hope
Give me lifting
Feelings of need, and purpose
To still breathe

I've been damned to a world of suffering
Guilt and hate are what riddle me to sleep
It's all her fault
If she had cared, or had been listening
There wouldn't be blood here coagulating

And so he thinks:
"With death by my side, I will meet her
I'll find my purpose in nine millimeters"
And so she bleeds
And so he bleeds
And so it bleeds
And so we bleed