Fake/Gone
losing your will to fight back when your whole identity has been built on being the bitch and the girl who bites back is… strange and uncomfortable
you feel empty. every battle is a losing one because you can’t even stand on your feet long enough to throw that metaphorical punch back. eventually you stop getting on your feet at all and you sit on the ground and let the insults that taste like abuse fall on you, rest on your shoulders because you carry these words now.
they never said them but you’ve memorized every insult and every threat. organized them in your mind for easy finding when you need reasons to hate yourself more than they hate you. the words are your burden now. and you’re frozen.
you can’t speak. lies and manipulation and overreactions?
you can’t move. attention and validation and bullshit?
you can crawl. back to them and away from yourself.
you can’t fucking speak because they took your mouth. they took your tongue and tied it in a knot so your words mean nothing. so that i love you and i hate you sound the same.
you can’t fucking speak because they took your mouth. they took your lips and stitched them shut so you can’t scream. so that please help me and i want to die sound the same.
you can’t speak because they don’t like when you do.
you have a mouth and tongue and lips. you can stand up.
you can untie your tongue, rip out your stitches.
and with a bloodied mouth, calloused hands, sore eyes
you can right hook the bastards into oblivion
you feel empty. every battle is a losing one because you can’t even stand on your feet long enough to throw that metaphorical punch back. eventually you stop getting on your feet at all and you sit on the ground and let the insults that taste like abuse fall on you, rest on your shoulders because you carry these words now.
they never said them but you’ve memorized every insult and every threat. organized them in your mind for easy finding when you need reasons to hate yourself more than they hate you. the words are your burden now. and you’re frozen.
you can’t speak. lies and manipulation and overreactions?
you can’t move. attention and validation and bullshit?
you can crawl. back to them and away from yourself.
you can’t fucking speak because they took your mouth. they took your tongue and tied it in a knot so your words mean nothing. so that i love you and i hate you sound the same.
you can’t fucking speak because they took your mouth. they took your lips and stitched them shut so you can’t scream. so that please help me and i want to die sound the same.
you can’t speak because they don’t like when you do.
you have a mouth and tongue and lips. you can stand up.
you can untie your tongue, rip out your stitches.
and with a bloodied mouth, calloused hands, sore eyes
you can right hook the bastards into oblivion