How Things Feel - A Message to Someone Special
It still feels so lonely,
Staring at a soulless screen of inactivity.
Where media likes of passions appreciated flood through,
It still feels so lonely.
It still feels so empty,
Where once I found bustling joy and inspiration.
An unfilled hole dug deeply into beating hearts of two,
It still feels so empty.
It still feels so strong,
Emotions that won't leave me be.
Jealousy, envy, possession, worry,
It still feels so strong.
It still feels so new,
Losing a large part of me that was you.
Where now forced from our world with no established ground to stand upon,
It still feels so new.
It still feels so hard,
To stay away and respect terms to which I disagree with.
To not press send asking how you are,
It still feels so hard.
It's starting to feel so strange,
Exploring possibilities and options for myself.
Realising all that is won't always be and that things will continue to change,
It's starting to feel so strange.
It's starting to feel a little better,
Facing past demons once hidden in my mind's vault by the beauty of your smile.
Slowly seeing the good in myself that you always saw in me rather than the bad I often see,
It's starting to feel a little better.
It's starting to feel a little easier,
Seeing you around and realising I'm no longer as nervous that I may be a hurtful walking reminder to you.
Feeling instead joyous excitement each time we exchange smiles with a warm thud in my chest again,
It's starting to feel a little easier.
I'm starting to feel a little more confident,
Looking forward to every time I get to pass by you or catch your soft gaze.
The desire to wave and smile my brightest to let you know I still adore every moment with you,
I'm starting to feel a little more confident.
I'm starting to learn happiness,
Something you showed me and still fill me with everyday.
Something I feel every time I catch sight of you laughing and loving your life with friends I hope are now good to you,
I'm staring to learn happiness.
I'm starting to feel a little bold,
Fearing less of those who once intimidated me.
Putting my own foot forward to let you know that I appreciate you regardless of circumstances,
I'm starting to feel a little bold.
I still feel incredibly incomplete,
Much is currently missing from my life.
Health, understanding, passions, your attention,
I still feel incredibly incomplete.
I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable,
With myself and where I stand.
It'll take a long time for us both to heal,
But I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable.
I'm starting to feel a lot more hopeful;
With every day that I see you progressing.
With each ghost like and rare reassuring message that let's me know you're okay and that you're still there for me,
I'm starting to feel a lot more hopeful.
I'm still completely in love,
My best friend, my sweetheart, my hero.
You helped me through so much and showed me that I am worth something great in this world,
I'm still completely in love...~
I will see you soon,
Months, years, however long you need.
You'll always have this 'Eejit' waiting to be a part of your life again,
I promise I will see you soon.
~~~~
I love you very much, in every single way.
And I hope nothing but the best for you on your road to healing and achievement.
You are a magnificent individual with a soul more kindred than any I have ever seen.
And by the way, I can't get your brilliant smile out of my head. Always keep smiling, you will be the best, I know you will! I believe in you and I know you believe in yourself, because you know you can do anything you set your aspirations to. I still think that's absolutely amazing, you've always been an inspiration and a lesson to learn to everyone around you and I couldn't be more honoured to have been so important to you - to be so important to you.
You're gonna keep shining brighter and brighter every single day, and you deserve to. You are beautiful, in mind, body and soul - a heart of gold and one that beats for the best and truest purposes.
You're very special, one of a kind and something of a celestial being in my eyes - I do look up to you a lot after all.
Please don't forget about me when you leave for bigger things and continue to grow into a more phenomenal young lady with each passing moment - my heart is set on one thing, and that's being part of my favourite person's life again someday when I'm a better person too.
I miss you, and I think about you everyday, and although things are hard, seeing you smiling and laughing makes me more confident in moving forward to improving as a person like I promised you and myself that I would.
Keep smiling out there, you are the queen of your own world!
And if you do read all of this, I just wanna say, firstly, thank you for still going outta your way to see my posts, and secondly; I do check this site every day to see if you've written anything...~ your work is beyond brilliant and I honestly cannot wait to read more in the future, you're an artist of the finest degree, painting with a brush of pure passion, and I hope dearly that you'll continue to embrace such talent and ability like you always have done...~
Again, keep smiling, you deserve complete happiness, and we both know it...~
Staring at a soulless screen of inactivity.
Where media likes of passions appreciated flood through,
It still feels so lonely.
It still feels so empty,
Where once I found bustling joy and inspiration.
An unfilled hole dug deeply into beating hearts of two,
It still feels so empty.
It still feels so strong,
Emotions that won't leave me be.
Jealousy, envy, possession, worry,
It still feels so strong.
It still feels so new,
Losing a large part of me that was you.
Where now forced from our world with no established ground to stand upon,
It still feels so new.
It still feels so hard,
To stay away and respect terms to which I disagree with.
To not press send asking how you are,
It still feels so hard.
It's starting to feel so strange,
Exploring possibilities and options for myself.
Realising all that is won't always be and that things will continue to change,
It's starting to feel so strange.
It's starting to feel a little better,
Facing past demons once hidden in my mind's vault by the beauty of your smile.
Slowly seeing the good in myself that you always saw in me rather than the bad I often see,
It's starting to feel a little better.
It's starting to feel a little easier,
Seeing you around and realising I'm no longer as nervous that I may be a hurtful walking reminder to you.
Feeling instead joyous excitement each time we exchange smiles with a warm thud in my chest again,
It's starting to feel a little easier.
I'm starting to feel a little more confident,
Looking forward to every time I get to pass by you or catch your soft gaze.
The desire to wave and smile my brightest to let you know I still adore every moment with you,
I'm starting to feel a little more confident.
I'm starting to learn happiness,
Something you showed me and still fill me with everyday.
Something I feel every time I catch sight of you laughing and loving your life with friends I hope are now good to you,
I'm staring to learn happiness.
I'm starting to feel a little bold,
Fearing less of those who once intimidated me.
Putting my own foot forward to let you know that I appreciate you regardless of circumstances,
I'm starting to feel a little bold.
I still feel incredibly incomplete,
Much is currently missing from my life.
Health, understanding, passions, your attention,
I still feel incredibly incomplete.
I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable,
With myself and where I stand.
It'll take a long time for us both to heal,
But I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable.
I'm starting to feel a lot more hopeful;
With every day that I see you progressing.
With each ghost like and rare reassuring message that let's me know you're okay and that you're still there for me,
I'm starting to feel a lot more hopeful.
I'm still completely in love,
My best friend, my sweetheart, my hero.
You helped me through so much and showed me that I am worth something great in this world,
I'm still completely in love...~
I will see you soon,
Months, years, however long you need.
You'll always have this 'Eejit' waiting to be a part of your life again,
I promise I will see you soon.
~~~~
I love you very much, in every single way.
And I hope nothing but the best for you on your road to healing and achievement.
You are a magnificent individual with a soul more kindred than any I have ever seen.
And by the way, I can't get your brilliant smile out of my head. Always keep smiling, you will be the best, I know you will! I believe in you and I know you believe in yourself, because you know you can do anything you set your aspirations to. I still think that's absolutely amazing, you've always been an inspiration and a lesson to learn to everyone around you and I couldn't be more honoured to have been so important to you - to be so important to you.
You're gonna keep shining brighter and brighter every single day, and you deserve to. You are beautiful, in mind, body and soul - a heart of gold and one that beats for the best and truest purposes.
You're very special, one of a kind and something of a celestial being in my eyes - I do look up to you a lot after all.
Please don't forget about me when you leave for bigger things and continue to grow into a more phenomenal young lady with each passing moment - my heart is set on one thing, and that's being part of my favourite person's life again someday when I'm a better person too.
I miss you, and I think about you everyday, and although things are hard, seeing you smiling and laughing makes me more confident in moving forward to improving as a person like I promised you and myself that I would.
Keep smiling out there, you are the queen of your own world!
And if you do read all of this, I just wanna say, firstly, thank you for still going outta your way to see my posts, and secondly; I do check this site every day to see if you've written anything...~ your work is beyond brilliant and I honestly cannot wait to read more in the future, you're an artist of the finest degree, painting with a brush of pure passion, and I hope dearly that you'll continue to embrace such talent and ability like you always have done...~
Again, keep smiling, you deserve complete happiness, and we both know it...~