Keeping Faith Through Cancer
Feelings i am drastically trying to blow away,As memorys fade into me.Running falling kneedeep in my mirrors own shards
Digging deeper createing a river.Time keeps ticking even though time is no longer evident,chaseing that damn rabbit they say for today im not caged.To i.v lines,medicine poles.All though i truly am fatigued and weak.But what the fuck is cancer anyway,I mean to die we all have to one day.Looking glass where is the key have i reached the end or just the begining .I choose to stay silent for others couldn't compensate they would not understand.I am fighting a game of chess everyday.I see my healing scars,these trembleing hands run down my neck where injections used to be,as i've already died numerous times wakeing up to a breatheing machine.Noticeing as much as i want this to be,it's not a dream please goddess let me be free,as im missing a puzzle peice.It dosent fit, this path is slippery to many rocks but i am forced to climb up.I have no regrets for this problem is my lifes biggest lesson without reason.I hold my palms up to the white light of this earth.I sit and meditate practiceing tai-chi to block the pain.I write and write for my storybook just refuses to end,like the leaves warping colors its a cycle an intensifying repeat.There is no odds when my ticket is always even,my trail is always breached.I do belive I do belive in will and integrity.The voices in my mind ask myself are you scared? I attempt to answer but the only remark is long silence,as i start running once more,to gamble and roll the dice,for just like alice i wont give up i just give in,to crawl back out of this rabbit hole,im a hundred stories too deep no where to weep.My light engulfs bigger in this vast emptyness i always flicker.My wings bleed as i rip these barbed shackles from white walls,hospital clorox,morphine.To fly in melody,syncronisity,rhythm.I'm never sure if the next day is my last,but i am thankfull for a curse which in turn is the greatest gift.Withering as i grow the yin and yang.Right now im all right,for i wrestle with the seeds i sow.One day as i peiece my mirror whole once more I'll be alright seeing clearly a reflection of greatness,through lines and glue I'll be perfectly fine drifting into wonderland for as it stands wonderland is always and right now at war.
Digging deeper createing a river.Time keeps ticking even though time is no longer evident,chaseing that damn rabbit they say for today im not caged.To i.v lines,medicine poles.All though i truly am fatigued and weak.But what the fuck is cancer anyway,I mean to die we all have to one day.Looking glass where is the key have i reached the end or just the begining .I choose to stay silent for others couldn't compensate they would not understand.I am fighting a game of chess everyday.I see my healing scars,these trembleing hands run down my neck where injections used to be,as i've already died numerous times wakeing up to a breatheing machine.Noticeing as much as i want this to be,it's not a dream please goddess let me be free,as im missing a puzzle peice.It dosent fit, this path is slippery to many rocks but i am forced to climb up.I have no regrets for this problem is my lifes biggest lesson without reason.I hold my palms up to the white light of this earth.I sit and meditate practiceing tai-chi to block the pain.I write and write for my storybook just refuses to end,like the leaves warping colors its a cycle an intensifying repeat.There is no odds when my ticket is always even,my trail is always breached.I do belive I do belive in will and integrity.The voices in my mind ask myself are you scared? I attempt to answer but the only remark is long silence,as i start running once more,to gamble and roll the dice,for just like alice i wont give up i just give in,to crawl back out of this rabbit hole,im a hundred stories too deep no where to weep.My light engulfs bigger in this vast emptyness i always flicker.My wings bleed as i rip these barbed shackles from white walls,hospital clorox,morphine.To fly in melody,syncronisity,rhythm.I'm never sure if the next day is my last,but i am thankfull for a curse which in turn is the greatest gift.Withering as i grow the yin and yang.Right now im all right,for i wrestle with the seeds i sow.One day as i peiece my mirror whole once more I'll be alright seeing clearly a reflection of greatness,through lines and glue I'll be perfectly fine drifting into wonderland for as it stands wonderland is always and right now at war.
♠ ♠ ♠
Poetry within the words of a battle striveing through everyday life when sick with cancer