I Once Had a Friend

I once had a friend who carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders. He convinced himself that his pain wasn’t valid, and that nobody wanted to be dragged down by the horrors of his past. I’m not sure what happened, he never told me, I shut him out before he ever had the chance. That’s my fault, a burden I’ll have to bare, a mistake I’ll never be able to fix.

I once had a friend who wasn’t able to battle his demons. He had his methods to keep them at bay, but it ended up hurting those who were around him. I blame myself for not seeing the signs sooner, tossing out a life line and dragging him back to shore. I wish I could’ve done more.

I once had a friend who needed a rock to lean on. A friend who was broken to his very core, and I let him down. I promised him I wouldn’t let go, that our friendship would survive these trails, all the while allowing other people’s whispers influence my thoughts. I let him down. I let everyone down. The whispers weren’t unjust, but neither was his cry for help. I should’ve found a healthy balance, instead I let the whispers drag me down and far away from him.

I once had a friend who made me laugh through my tears.

I once had a friend who sheltered me from my fears.

I once had a friend who fought, clawed and went to war for me.

I once had a friend.

I miss him dearly.
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I lost one of my best friends a while back. We don't really have contact anymore. I miss him dearly.