Dear Mom

I will never forget April nineteenth, the worst day of my life.
The woman who had given me life, laid lifeless before me.
I came home hoping to find you in your usual spot in your chair, only to find you facedown on the floor
Time stood still in that moment, your lips so blue and cold.
I couldn't hear a thing or think a single thought
I was angry...because you were doing so good. Pills were no longer polluting your body, but I knew this day you had fallen back.
I remember our argument we had that morning, and all I could do was blame myself.
Suddenly...adrenaline rushed through my body as I called for help.
Dad...had your blood stained on his lips as he tried to bring you back to life
tears were running down my face but I wasn't crying, I was calm...calm in a state of panic
Your eleven year old daughter in my arms, I could feel her tears on my sweater.
After an eternity I hear the faint sound of sirens, I knew their destination.
I looked at my father, life was no longer in his eyes, he had been through what no husband wants...he had held his dead wife in his arms.
As paramedics were working on you, I couldn't help but push all the bad memories out of my head.
I thought about the good...
how we used to be goofy and dance around when I was a kid
how you would tell me your crazy stories of you as a teenager
How you would make homemade baked ziti because it was the only thing you can cook.
You weren't the best mom but you were my mom and I love you so much, you were my best friend,
until the evil took you away.
Nothing can ever hurt me again because what that paramedic told me will be the worst of it all.
I never got a chance to tell you how much I appreciated you, how much your youngest daughter needed you, how much your husband loved you, how you had a whole family who loves you.
we may not be perfect but we love you.
Pain medication is nothing to be abused... it is an epidemic and it took away someone who is loved dearly, my families backbone.
I love you Mom...
♠ ♠ ♠
This was painful to write, but I needed to let this out. If you know anyone who struggles with addiction, get them help as soon as possible, and never ignore the signs.