Candle

I used to get excited for my birthday
But I can't pin down the year
That the day ceased to fill me with cheer
At least I made it
If you had asked me at 15
Never would I have even dreamed
That I'd be here to see myself turn 24
If I was a tree, or that sort of thing
Anymore rings would be a surprise
Instead of celebrating, I just find myself waiting
While I should be out creating something more
Than these few lines, but I am lost
I feel tossed aside

She said that she's just waiting
For whatever's meant to be
And she sees life a little differently
I guess I have the wrong priorities
But I'm so sick of that excuse
Just tear it clean or cut me loose
Because I am helpless in your clutch
I still love you too damn much
And I don't believe in birthday wishes any longer
And this feeling just grows stronger
As I sit and stare at walls, I ponder
What the fuck is "meant to be"?
I'm not the person whomever she kisses
Or even someone that she misses
This burning loss, it feels so vicious
I've written this same poem before
The only difference is I'm 24

And I still just can't believe
In that bullshit "meant to be"
Cause if there's no way that it's me
If she can't feel all this energy
Then maybe it just does not exist
And there's nothing "meant to be"
And there was never such a thing as "we"

But I still savored every pointless kiss
And I still try, though it's useless
Guess there's no such fate for me to resist
No candles will ever grant my wish, I see
There's no use for me to miss her
Like this...