Pieces

I scramble to pick up the pieces.
Little tid bits
Most likely nothing.
Regardless i skin my knees and cut my hands grasping at the fallen knight.
The toppled pawn.
I push and pull and weave the thread of my life into a perfect seamless blanket that only you could find an imperfection.
Maybe its all my fault.
Maybe i tried too hard in the beginning.
Maybe you were drowning and my phoney wall was all you needed.
All you needed.
But now you've dropped my porcelain heart letting it shatter carelessly to the ground.
I ran over the shards that dug into my feet cutting them to the bone making me fall long before i reached you.
I still tried.
Oh how stupid was i to try but i did.
As i fell i realized i didnt need to pick up the pieces.
So limply i hit the sharp unforgiving ground which we all live on but instead of dying i found a long lost piece.
Hesitance.
No more pieces.
But yet...i grasp it tightly and stood taller then everyone.
My heart i slapped a bandaid on and i skipped.
I skipped when everyone told me i couldn't.
I sang when everyone said to be silent.
I lived when all i had wanted to do was die.
But with that piece i also picked up you.
Again i resume the balance of dropping and picking up pieces of our game.
Waiting.
Struggling.
Laughing.
Smiling.
Happy.
Ive tacked down the king and have fought for it endlessly but now in refusal nothing will get past me again.
Go to hell refusal, denial, sadness.
Ive got what i want and ill be damned if i let it go.