Love and Other Lies the World Tells You

when you first hear words
like "soo soco"
While holding onto the lower third of a floor length hijab
You cling to the words more, without meaning to
Imprinting the fear of disappearing in the sea of people
Bustling through Haagse Markt
You fear what you don't know for certain
The love in words uttered so often they lose meaning, raise uncertainty
Yet you hold on to it
Forgetting the fragility
It's not upto you if it sticks
Once the words are said
They linger in the air
Each letter stamped into the ground
The air turns into how the words make you feel
You can barely take a breath around Love
Engulfs, almost suffocates
Maybe it was a lie told yourself when you were young
But at 23, without those words around and at 27 with the sound echoing as a distant memory
You are reminded of the meaning, the connection
The calls to home bring comfort
But love, somewhere along the way, turned into a word that feels like a trick
The connection grew from an echo, a longing for the not just the motherland, but for mama too
For the world to hurt you in a new and treacherous way
Adrenaline seekers who skydive and bungee jump
Now start to make sense to you
The unknown is more vast, but the payoff is

the silence
pause

It feels eternal