Anxiety

my heart is wild, an animal caught off-guard.
she howls in her cage all night,
every night, begging for food, freedom,
the warmth of love.
i cannot quell her cries even in the presence of guests
who paid good money to see her dance, shriek,
panic like a circus act.
how can i tame a thing i myself
do not understand?
one of these cold nights she will
muster up the strength to bite off
the padlock.
i will never know what hit me until
her teeth sink into my soft
unsuspecting skin.
then, only then, will i realize i am a
vampire's victim,
and i will only experience darkness
forever onward.
i cannot charm a beast into loving another
when she destroys everything she touches,
like a hurricane.
i cannot imagine what it would be like
to pacify her, in a world where
pelts are prizes.
my heart is wild, an animal caught off-guard,
but i never realized i was
my own predator,
that i entered a battle that will never be won.