Swan Song

if only I could sing you a swan song;
one where the difference between
black and white merges to form
feculent, industrious tones of grey:
a song fitting of your disconnect
from humanity

if only I could sing you a swan song;
one so discordant and dissonant-
where major, minor and pentatonic
all collide; a sound that makes you
grit your teeth, cover your ears and
cry aloud

if only I could sing you a swan song
it would not be a song at all - rather
a divergence of notes coming together;
not unlike knuckles on virgin bone -
like your anger spilling forward in
symphonic succession

if only I could write you a swan song-
something that allows me to feel again;
to unfurl my fists from my sides and unknot
my lungs; to allow my breath to flow freely
and to keep thoughts of you from the back of
my mind

but I cannot write you a swan song,
for the melodies stall just as surely
as my breath catches in my throat