Sexual Assault #MeToo

I was sexually assaulted at just 7 years old
There I was a young impressionable girl
When I was forced to make an older man ejaculate
And when he did, it completely sealed my fate
No longer did i have the whole world at my feet
No longer could i grasp every oppurtunity
Instead the world was one in which I was unsafe
Unprotected I had to step up and re-evaluate
So I built up walls and buried my head in books
Maybe I can get out if I learn to read, write and cook
I walked my friends home because they were all clean
I could protect them from seeing the darkness I'd seen
Until it happened again on a cold winters eve
With someone whom I thought cared for me
But maybe I was still just as impressionable and niave
But can anyone blame me, at the age of fifteen?
I told him no as he hugged me from behind
I thought he understood but maybe I was blind
Because the signs were all there as his hands slid down
And with my hands pinned I could of screamed but didnt make a sound
Instead I just cried and waited for it to end
But I couldnt believe it, after all he was a friend
But he stopped, thank god, before he could do worse
And I ran off into the night to deal with my curse
No one believed me after all he seems so sweet
Maybe it was my fault after all he only did it to me
So I took it on the chin I just gave him the wrong signs
Its my fault I cant sleep safe at night.
Camping with friends and they all start to fight,
I sit in the tent with my ex from that night
We hugged and cuddled it was all okay
But he pushed it to far and what can I say
It was only ever me so I must be to blame
I couldnt tell anyone out of guilt and shame
He had a girlfriemd, one of my best mates
When she found out it was me who she hates
No one believed he'd forced me to do such a thing
Obviously I was sadistic and attention seeking
So when other people pushed me aside
I accepted it, after all its just life
When I trusted my partner with the secret I'd kept
We argued and he brushed it off, he just said
I've dealt with girls like that before, it's fine
He didnt understand those girls problems weren"t mine
I dealt with it differently to his previous lovers
I wasnt using it against anyone who came under my covers
And when I made a confession video, the trend at the time
My mother ordered me to take it offline
Soical services will come i dont need that right now
So get rid of the video and take those lies down
My sister confessed though, that old man assaulted her too
Told her I'd be safe if she didnt tell what he used to do
Would buy her some sweets and give her 50p
She did what he made her to try and protect me
Several times I had to face and deal with the pain
I only hope my own daughter won't face the same
♠ ♠ ♠
If anyone wver needs to talk please feel free to message me