12AM Black Coffee

A few years ago
I would brew a cup of coffee, sometime in the middle of the night
A few times a week
I didn't want to fall asleep

Black coffee at 12AM
because I convinced myself
if I stayed awake long enough
by the time dawn came
I could shut my eyes
because the terrible thoughts were afraid of the terrible light

If I was awake, I wasn't dreaming
If I wasn't dreaming, I wasn't screaming
I wasn't in the black hole
Instead I was breathing
in and out
in and out

12:23AM
I'm drinking coffee again