Blank China Doll

The world
Wants me to be a blank china doll
To paint their expectations onto me
Be this
Be that
Only dont be too much of anything.
Be goofy and cute
But not too much to be weird
Have feels but don't trust
Because then you’re the fool

But I am always the fool
Painting myself the victim
Different colors every tragedy
Building the layer of painted masks
If you cut me open
Maybe you’ll see a rainbow

Maybe they are just colorblind
They said,
You’re too aggressive
But now im too passive aggressive
They said,
You’re too forgiving
But say nothing when I give them chances
They said
You’re too black and white
But how do I say
That I’ve had so many people leave me
That if I don't know where loyalties lie
Then how can I trust

Why would I let you in
To have you leave me
In cracked pieces.
When everyone leaves you
Once you let them in
You start to believe
That there must be something wrong with u.

Im done with cruel empty promises
Trying to paint myself the way they want me to be
Because its pointless
If I am
Who you want me to be
Then I am just a doll
Painted over with white
Graphited over by countless people
Who will never be satisfied.