Tick Tock

Year One:

March 2013-2014
We started dating,
You held my hand after three months,
I told you I loved you,
I had my first kiss after we hit four,
We made out where they were holding fireworks that July,
The two of us started fooling around by month five,
We went to homecoming together on our sixth,
I met your mom finally,
Time ticked on as our relationship blossomed.

Tick tock continues the clock

Year Two:

March 2014-March 2015
Things were steady and we were happy,
I went to your house for the first time,
After you had spending so much time at mine,
We would always get caught kissing in the hallways at school,
I met your sister and her kids,
You met the rest of my family for the most part,
We grew up a little,
And then you got violent the first time,
I hit my back on some lockers,
My friends were upset,
But I just shrugged my shoulders and acted like it was normal.

Tick tock continues the clock

Year Three:

March 2015-March 2016
You graduated,
We spent a majority of the summer together,
You tried to control me a little more and got upset over a lot of things,
You raised your voice at me more than once,
I winced every time,
I became a high school senior,
You got your first job and car,
I lost my virginity to you after my SAT,
I thought we were happy,
But my gaze was drifting to men online...
And that was only the beginning.

Tick tock continues the clock

Year Four:
March 2016 - March 2017

I graduated,
Received my license and my first job,
Worked my tail off,
You always yelled at me,
The controlling continued,
I started cheating on you with a coworker,
Caused trouble for myself even further,
I stayed the night at your house for the first time,
I faked being happy,
The final nail was close to coming into the coffin.

Tick tock... I reset the clock.

Month 0:

May 2017
I left you for him,
I realized what I had been doing to you,
I realized what you had been doing to me,
I knew what we had was unhealthy for the two of us,
You started dating another girl
And by the end of that month, he left me, and you had left her.

Tick tock no longer goes our clock

Month 1:

June 2017
I got back with him after a week,
You blew up at me,
You called me and him "fucked up"
And all my friends, "faggots"
You got your ex into it and she called me a slut
I was upset and I thought you were my friend,
But you really weren't.

Tick tock no longer goes our clock

Month 2:

July 2017
My nineteenth birthday,
It was the month that he had to go away,
You contacted me,
Asked me to hang out,
And I rejected you.
You instead send me the name of a song,
That made me realize what you really perceived me,
And I didn't like it a single bit.

Tick tock no longer goes our clock

Month 3:

August 2017
I quit my first job,
He came back to me after 28 long days,
You fizzled off of the face of the earth...
And I thought that was for good.

Tick tock no longer goes our clock

Month 5:

October 2017
I got a new job just a short drive from my former one,
I went outside to smoke one day,
And you walked around the corner,
You had a small conversation with me,
Which I wish had never happened,
Because I was uncomfortable,
And the next day you tried contacting my friends,
People you wanted nothing to do with in high school,
I asked your own friend if he'd relay a message for me to you,
And you blew up again,
Used my words against me from months ago,
Threatened me,
And my workplace decided to bar you from coming in the store while I'm there,
I saved the texts,
And I planned on getting a restraining order.

Tick tock no longer goes our clock

Month 6:

November 24th, 2017
Fucking Idiot
[number redacted]


I'm sorry.


I don't accept your apology,
Because I wrote this to prove to myself,
That everything you did over the past five years of my life,
Was something compared to a stain on a white shirt,
You hurt me,
You ruined me,
And I'm so broken that even he's not sure what to do sometimes,
But he tries,
And you didn't.

So,
Tick tock forever goes my new clock
♠ ♠ ♠
This has to pertain to my previous relationship and this is long and a mess, but I just had to put this out here before it drove me insane. I went into details that I had never disclosed online before about my previous relationship and I feel quite a bit better after writing this. After the text he sent me yesterday, I've decided that he's gone forever in my life; I'm not looking back at him any longer.