Utterly Poetic Inadvertently

It's not a physical hurt
but rather one of my very soul
the gap torn out from the center
the only physical evidence of your existence in my life

photos lie
words are empty
your presence was your life
and those who really love you
wanted to be in your life
made sure they were part of those moments
part of your life journey

the empty face in the crowd
still a pulsing wound on my soul
each day making the hole bigger and bigger

i'm afraid one day it'll consume me

you were such a vital part of my growth
you offered something in your smile

this hole
is gaping
threatening to suck me into it
where one life begins and another ends

i'm too afraid to go through it
i've been through it before
months of utter anguish
at the very feeling of being alive