A Sad Gay Poem

I've always envied
those others girls who
wear their sexuality
as comfortably as their heart
on their sleeves, words like
"I love her" do not
hurt
are not rife
with guilt and shame, do not
dig
into their heart and
ceiling staring eyeballs at night
do not fill them with words like
"If only
I'd been straight"
and
desperation; I am dreaming
of leaving this shell
this shadow
and slowly becoming
one
of them