Selfish Manipulation
I learned my tricks from the best,
And by best I mean worst,
And by worst, I mean the slimiest of human beings.
People who used a child at an impressionable age,
To get whatever why wanted from them.
They put it off as me helping them,
But instead,
They took advantage.
These tricks taught me how to get my way,
Even if the other person wasn't willing,
I used guilt against them,
I knew how to "smooth talk" them,
And eventually, they always caved.
I got what I wanted for a long time,
I was selfish and greedy,
I always wanted more,
Never felt any form of remorse,
Until I met someone I couldn't use for personal gain.
When I met them,
If that side of me came to light,
My tricks faltered, and faded away,
I felt guilty, dirty, and I knew that I couldn't hurt them that way,
I didn't want to have my way anymore,
I wanted to think about this person's feelings and emotions.
I never wanted to hurt them like I did others.
So, my manipulation failed,
And it was forced to retreat back into the shell,
To a time before it was imprinted on me,
Due to others ways.
I don't want to crawl under anyone's skin anymore,
And use them like I was used.
So thus ended the reign,
Of my terrifying, sinister, horrible,
Selfish manipulation.
And by best I mean worst,
And by worst, I mean the slimiest of human beings.
People who used a child at an impressionable age,
To get whatever why wanted from them.
They put it off as me helping them,
But instead,
They took advantage.
These tricks taught me how to get my way,
Even if the other person wasn't willing,
I used guilt against them,
I knew how to "smooth talk" them,
And eventually, they always caved.
I got what I wanted for a long time,
I was selfish and greedy,
I always wanted more,
Never felt any form of remorse,
Until I met someone I couldn't use for personal gain.
When I met them,
If that side of me came to light,
My tricks faltered, and faded away,
I felt guilty, dirty, and I knew that I couldn't hurt them that way,
I didn't want to have my way anymore,
I wanted to think about this person's feelings and emotions.
I never wanted to hurt them like I did others.
So, my manipulation failed,
And it was forced to retreat back into the shell,
To a time before it was imprinted on me,
Due to others ways.
I don't want to crawl under anyone's skin anymore,
And use them like I was used.
So thus ended the reign,
Of my terrifying, sinister, horrible,
Selfish manipulation.
♠ ♠ ♠
I won't let it come to light who used me this way as a child, even though I have stated it to the public in the past. I used these tactics against people I loved and cherished for the longest time because it was a dark part of my personality. I didn't realize until recently that, that's not a way that someone else should be treated because it was a major part of my childhood. I've been trying to let it fade away, but it rears its ugly head up every once and awhile before I shoo it away. It's no longer a part of me. It's another demon exiled.