Lost in Psychosis

When you're labeled a monster, it's easy to retreat
From being so happy to not being able to sleep
For years I've been trying to find love again
Off and on through preying eyes, wondering if it will again be my demise

I told her I wanted more than just a touch,
An emotional bond that could connect us
However, she plays with my mind, being indecisive all the time
I'm as fragile as a piece of glass,
trying to let go of the past.

I'm not aggressive as I used to be,
From all the thinking I did out at sea,
staring into the ocean for hours
into the darkness that does play tricks on your mind
sometimes jumping in seems just fine

I keep trying but getting nowhere,
If God made Eve for Adam, then who did he make for me?
Because lately, I've been giving up hope
which makes it only worse
I don't want just sex I want to love
Am I born into a generation that's just cursed?

To never have forever ever again
It's like I'm giving you my all but you're only halfway in
So when I fall you can easily walk out
But I'll be trapped to start all over
and climb to the top
there's only so many more times I can do this
before my heart stops.
♠ ♠ ♠
Bored thoughts