The Number You Have Dialed Is No Longer in Service

Am I incapable of love?
Void of all human emotions?
Life goes by in a quick whirlwind of passion and lust
And I am here alone with no sense of urgency
No sense of drive or passion.
Just a never ending sense of dread and despair.

I watch those I encounter and turn down move on
get caught up in the whirlwind.
I find myself feeling nostalgic and jealous.
Jealous? No.
Envious.
A deep burning envy for the normalcy they so often take for granted.
I am not normal. I do not feel normal.

I have no real sense of love
No feeling
No emotion
Just
Blank.

I am empty, broken, malfunctioned.
I am hardwired wrong, every fiber of my being
Tells me this is wrong when in reality it’s right.
It’s normal.

I am not normal.

I am incapable of normalcy
Incapable of understanding human interactions
Love
Lust
Passion
Desire
It is all a foreign concept to me

I am not normal.
I am broken.