Empty

Time and time again
I seek a sweet and bitter end
I could smile and pretend
But,..
Depression's become my friend

Hand in hand the clouds descend
You would not beleive the time we spend
Shorted breaths of anxiety begin
And it appears we have a date again

In my dreams Im tied to a tree
A bloody mask suffocates me..

When Im awake people surrounding me
Their faces, their words, overwhelming me
Judgemental eyes and cursing lips
I retreat to my comfort abyss...

The endless black it sooths me..
Floating endlessly,
Left to my thoughts, left to my peace
Then open my eyes
Hell has fallen upon me..

She sings sweet songs in my ear
With her hand clenched around my heart
Abandoned to an empty world
Purge my senses, I do my part..
I see every reason to be
She inflicts every reason I cant..
Her song cuts through to bone
Consumed by the dread of feeling alone,
I am angry at who I am and how you see me..
I cry at the thought of you seeing me breathing..

Fuck..

I..am so fucking tired..
Of this shit!
Im pissed off and
I cant even admit it

I wont be killed,
On anyone elses terms!
You say fuck me?
Well I say fuck you!
I cant simply lay down and die for you
I wont listen to what you tell me to
Just go away...just leave me the fuck alone...
I cant stand your face...just let me feel at fucking home!

Her face sickens me...
Depression is a deadly being
But I cant help feeling like..
The real enemy is me!
FUCK!

What else can I do...
Bleeding my desperation..

Drinking until my heart is dead and through..
Fuck everything that has to do with you!

You can feel it in my skin..

You can..smell it in the air..

EMPTINESS